The Absent Father

Sadly there comes a time in every single mamas moments that your little munchkin will arouse the question, “Where is my daddy?” or if your child is anything like my son he or she might say, “I don’t have a daddy!” Words that physically rip ones heart out and crushes like no other. If you’re like me a statement like this could take you by surprise. At the time my only response was, “…but you have a mommy who loves you very much!” Since then I have done a little bit of reading in hopes to be better prepared the next time I am confronted with such a statement.

In my research and discoveries I have come to the below conclusions. For any child that may present this predicament you need to remain strong and be prepared to respond with an age appropriate answer. Most importantly you want your child (or children) to know that they are loved. You want to provide them with a sense of security and reassurance. I firmly believe that the truth is the best answer, but remember that they are not always asking nor do they need to here the entire story. Again age appropriate! Inform your child how lucky they are to have various male role models in their life. In sum the three most important things to walk away with are to provide an open heart, a sense of security, and an honest story.

Looking for resources on the subject matter you may be interested in:
Raising Boys Without Men by Dr. Peggy Drexler http://www.peggydrexler.com/raisingboys.html
When Dad Hurts Mom by Lundy Bancroft http://www.amazon.com/When-Dad-Hurts-Mom-Witnessing/dp/0425200310

Please keep in mind there are also books available to read to your children:
Do I Have A Daddy? by Jeanne Warren Lindsay http://www.amazon.com/Do-Have-Daddy-Story-Single-Parent/dp/1885356625
Raising You Alone by Warren Hanson http://www.amazon.com/Raising-You-Alone-Warren-Hanson/dp/0972650466/ref=pd_sim_b_1
Love Is A Family by Roma Downey http://www.amazon.com/Love-Is-Family-Roma-Downey/dp/0439444233/ref=pd_sim_b_5

For a mama who is currently dealing with such questions I would love to hear thoughts and suggestions on the subject matter from my readers, and any further resources that may be helpful. Thank you for your love and support! Sincerely, Prego

Should Food Stamps be Accepted at Restaurants?

I awoke this morning to find this image in my Facebook news feed, and LIKED by one of my so-called Facebook friends. This image personally hit home, and I found it to be extremely disturbing. Just to give you a little background information if you haven’t been keeping up with my blog… I am a single mother to one beautiful toddler. I left my ex-husband when my child was just a newborn infant due to domestic violence. In addition I left my career because we worked under the same roof, and I was frightened what may happen if I had stuck around. I currently have a restraining order against him, and fortunately haven’t seen or heard from him in quite sometime. Overall I left everything I had ever worked for and ever known to create a beautiful life for myself and my child. Which brings me to the image above… during that time I applied for food stamps amongst many other government programs to help me get back on my feet. These programs which I had paid into over time were a complete god sent during this time of struggle, rebuild, and restructuring of my life. Government programs such as food stamps helped ease my mind and mental stability, so that I could focus all my time and attention on getting back on my feet. (Side note: Imagine being a first time mother to a newborn baby, dealing with a psycho ex-husband, a restraining order, and trying to get back and your feet)

Now back to the issue at hand: Should food stamps be accepted at restaurants? My personal answer to this question would be YES! Reason number one: Imagine being homeless without kitchen facilities to cook a nice warm meal. Reason number two: Imagine being a single adult living in a shelter without access to cooking facilities. Reason number three: Imagine being a hard working individual trying to raise a family, needing a little break from the stress of daily household chores such as cooking. Have a heart, and put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Many hard working adults are struggling in todays economy. Think before you choose to open up, and speak about something you may know absolutely nothing about! PLEASE provide thoughts and opinions regarding this situation… Do you believe food stamps should be accepted at restaurants?

The Catch 22

Imagine everyday having to relive the same nightmare… racing thoughts fill my head daily as I pass by various landmarks where I shared a random moment with my Ex. Over there on the right was our first date, in that little shopping center was his place of business, one of our favorite restaurants is tucked away over there, the house we once owned, the jail he spent time in, and the courthouse we spent many grueling hours in. Every inch of this city holds a memory. Some good, some bad, and some still to be decided. Everyday I am reminded…

Now for the catch 22… I often think about moving for my sanity, safety, security, and support. The facts regarding the situation: My little one is currently tied to the county. I have a restraining order against my Ex-husband. He is currently MIA (missing in action), and not paying child support. I don’t feel that I will be granted a move away order unless I have a job lined up in another area, but I’m afraid to look for a job because if I find one I don’t have the legal documentation to leave the county with my little one. Furthermore… How do I find, and serve a missing person?

This scenario constantly plays out in my head, and every time I am disappointed with the results. I feel like I am still being abused because I am caught in this crazy catch 22 and unable to escape. If you have any informative knowledge regarding this situation PLEASE help!!!

Change Your Thoughts and You Change Your world

Just sending out a little bit of positive energy to all my followers and friends! Big hugs

Wandering Chaos

My mind has been wandering for days unable to make sense of the sea of chaos which surrounds my being. I have been adrift. Without anchor or guidance my tormented soul seeks closure. My head locked and bolted that door many moons ago, but my heart is still stumbling along unable to pick up the pieces and move on. Secretly I would like to think that my ex wrote this little number for Bruno Mars, and somewhere out there he is still softly singing it to me!

“When I Was Your Man” -Bruno Mars

Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now
Our song on the radio but it don’t sound the same
When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down
Cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name

It all just sounds like oooooh…
Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers
And held your hand
Should have gave you all my hours
When I had the chance
Take you to every party
Cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby’s dancing
But she’s dancing with another man

My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways
Caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life
Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, ohh…
And it haunts me every time I close my eyes

It all just sounds like oooooh…
Mmm, too young, too dumb to realize
That I should have bought you flowers
And held your hand
Should have gave you all my hours
When I had the chance
Take you to every party
Cause all you wanted to do was dance
Now my baby’s dancing
But she’s dancing with another man

Although it hurts
I’ll be the first to say that I was wrong
Oh, I know I’m probably much too late
To try and apologize for my mistakes
But I just want you to know

I hope he buys you flowers
I hope he holds your hand
Give you all his hours
When he has the chance
Take you to every party
Cause I remember how much you loved to dance
Do all the things I should have done
When I was your man
Do all the things I should have done
When I was your man

How does one close the door, heal the heart, and move on to the next chapter in their life? Suggestions needed for my sanity, and the sanity of my friends and followers that may be sailing a similar ship!

Big THANKS to all my Followers

Thank you to my family, friends, followers, and other treasured guests that feel my blog is worthy of an award or nomination! I am truly at a loss for words, and unable to clearly express my overflowing gratification. I feel that my story is one that needs to be heard so that others can learn from my mistakes, and possibly comfort those that may already be experiencing a similar tale. I am grateful that so many of you are interested in listening, and feel that my words are worth spreading to those in need. Your kind words, personal stories, and overall support that you share with me on a daily basis warms my heart and keeps my sinking ship afloat… so THANK YOU!

Nominated me for Blog of the Year…
Vagenda Vixen
Seasons of Insanity
I am for Change

Nominated me for The Very Inspiring Blogger Award…
rohan7things
The Eclectic Eccentric Shopaholic
Midway
Chef Randall
Sandbag Heart
Cancer in my Thirties
leazengage
Mysteriously Quiet

Nominated me for The Inspiring Blogger…
The Eclectic Eccentric Shopaholic

Nominated me for the Liebster Award…
Encourage One Another Daily
Life’s Unexpected Blessings
Trance Script

Nominated me for the Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award…
Paula Mills

Nominated me for the Reality Blog Award…
The Eclectic Eccentric Shopaholic
My Spirit Journey

Nominated me for the Sunshine Award…
Cranky Giraffe

Nominated me for the Blog on Fire Award…
Iridescently

Nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award…
My Little 3 and Me

Nominated me for the Beautiful Blogger Award…
The Flat Girl

Nominated me for the Wonderful Team Readership Award…
The Kat and the Falling Leaves

Nominated me for the Red Badge of Courage Award…
Pondering Spawned

Please note that although I do realize there are a number of rules to each award I am currently unable to follow through. When my head clears, and time permits I plan to finish what I started here, but until then… please know that you are loved, respected, and brightened my day in more ways than one! Thank you!!

Ten Reasons Single Mommyhood Rocks

Growing up as a little girl I often dreamed about meeting Mr. Right, falling madly in love, getting married, and living happily ever after with hubby, our two and a half kids, and our white picket fence. Somewhere along the way this dream was definitely misinterpreted and… I fell madly in love with Mr. Wrong, got married, got a restraining order, got divorced, and ran fast in the opposite direction toward a shelter with my only child. In short this is not the reality I once envisioned as a little girl. Therefore every once in awhile I find myself in a mommy funk, and I need a little reminder that single mommyhood rocks!

Below I have created a top ten list to remind myself, and other single parents the benefits of parenting alone.

1) You and you alone have the power to make all the decisions in your household.

2) You play both parental roles, therefore you officially get to celebrate two holidays in your honor… Mothers Day and Fathers Day.

3) Your answer is the final answer in your household.

4) Assuming you’re an amazing parent you get to soak up all the love and affection that pours out of your little one.

5) You get to raise your child as you please.

6) You are the one that will be there for each of your child’s firsts… Example: First day of school, followed by his or her reaction.

7) You get to introduce your child to your fashion sense and interests.

8) You get to snuggle up with your little one every night if you please and watch a movie together.

9) You awake most mornings to a little arm around you, followed by a little voice saying, “I love you mommy (or daddy).”

10) You are the one that your child will most likely run to when he or she is in need of loving arms!

Just a little reminder to all you single mommies or daddies out there… “It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.”

Please help support single parents in the blogosphere by adding an additional reason why single parenting ROCKS! Let’s see how many reasons we can list as a collective group.