I fell in LOVE… he was charming, charismatic, and extremely romantic. After a brief time frame fools rushed in… My soon to be hubby asked my father for my hand in marriage, and off we ran to get married. Two short months later we were expecting our first little bundle of joy.
During this time I failed to recognize the RED FLAGS… the unrealistic expectations, the violent tendencies, the close minded attitude, possessiveness and extreme jealousy.
Although at some moment the light went on, and POW… I’m not sure if it was the broken door hanging by a screw, the many holes left behind by an angry fist, the knife marks in the ceiling, the dent in my car, the broken trinkets, the shattered mirror, or the sigh of relief that my unborn child and I just survived another violent act.
Five months pregnant I got in my car, and fled… leaving behind the home which I had individually purchased, my career, my friends, my pre-natal doctor, all my possessions, and the person I had wrongly mistaken for my love. The so called man of my DREAMS! This was the most difficult decision I have ever had to make, and with each decision that followed I grew stronger.
Now of course no one gets it right the first time around, and I am no exception. As a newlywed, a first time bride, and soon to be mommy I remained hopeful and optimistic that my happily ever after was just around the corner. That being said, my husband and I continued communicating, and I set up boundaries and guidelines if we were to get back together. I had three simple rules that I requested of my husband: counseling, AA, and if you choose to drink choose to spend the night elsewhere. It seemed simple enough… for a non-addict!
Eager to have my husband there for the birth of our baby I returned home one month before our child was born. Upon my return I tried to squeeze nine months of the happy pregnancy I envisioned into one month: birthing classes, baby shower, and nesting to prepare for the little one. Amongst the chaos little man was born a week early.
My husband and I had a brief period of bliss, and a downward spiral to follow! Our relationship ended two short months after the birth of our son. My husband acted out, I called the police, and I ran away. Once again I left behind all my belongings, and one of my dream jobs. I took with me only the most valuable of treasures, our child.
If you have never been in an abusive relationship then it is unimaginable why one would stay under such dreadful circumstances. I fell in love with my husband for many reason. The abuse is not apparent at first sight, but rather gradually unfolds over time. Unfortunately by the time I realized I was in an abusive relationship I was married with our first child on the way.