Revisiting a Restraining Order With Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

 

It is my understanding that in California restraining orders can be issued for up to five years, and after that it is the individuals responsibility to renew their restraining order if they still feel that protection is needed.

Hi my name is Blank Blank, and I am a victim of domestic violence. I have suffered many moons living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, AKA my ex-husband, or more intimately known on my blog as my abuser. I had the courage to leave everything… the house that I purchased with my own money, my career, my friends, my doctors, and so much more. As I have said before I took with me only the dearest of treasures, my baby. I have suffered through many days and many nights of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). I can check living in a homeless shelter off my bucket list because when I left everything I had to go somewhere. I could probably even check every form of self help group or therapy off that list as well because some were required by my living situation, and let’s just face it some I really needed. I have battled with the difficulties of being a single mother. No one to share in the good, the bad, and the ugly. No child support checks magically showing up on my doorstep. I had to listen to my child as he said, “My Daddy is at work.” He had never seen his daddy, and therefore in his mind he was at work. This was his thought process as a preschooler. At a later date I had to listen once again as he stated, “I have no Daddy.” Hearing these words roll off my sons tongue whispered so many things in my ears. This was a sad reminder of the white picket fence that never was, and the abuse that has forever left an imprint on my heart. 

For the past five years I have tried desperately to put the past behind, and tonight I revisit those dark corners in the hopes to maintain my sanity and our safety. I will be filing to renew our restraining order when I’m through battling things in my head. 

I would love to hear if any of my readers have words of wisdom on this topic, stories to share, or positive inspirational quotes. My mind is currently a mess, and would love to read some stories of comfort and hope. Thank you for taking the time to read and/or interact with my blog!

Self Esteem and DV

Let’s talk self esteem, and the role it plays in domestic violence. Personally I believe it is one of the top 10 reasons people stay in an abusive relationship. However there has been some dispute, and I am curious how other individuals feel in regards to this topic. I highly agree with what Bennyd10 has stated here, and here alone “I do believe that in an abusive relationship the abuser belittles and demeans the victim and that can create low self esteem.” Although I also think that she fails to recoginze that prior to being in an absive relationship we (the so called victims) were individuals. We stood alone, we acted alone, and yes we even made choices on our own. Typically prior to being in an abusive relationship a vicitim already has low self esteem. The abuser rushes in and sweeps the victim off their feet showering them with love and affection. They tend to be over the top… overly charming, overly romantic, and overly caring in a very obsessive manner. For example I came home from work one day, and walked into a sea of beautifully lit tea candles. My first instinct was Oooo Ahhh WOW how incredibly romantic. I am one LUCKY girl! Although my secondary reaction consisted of racing thoughts that our house was going to catch fire and burn to the ground. I frantically ran around blowing out candles. Point being that the abuser catches us when our self esteem is already at a low, and they know exactly how to wiggle their way into our world.

If you are a victim of domestic violence… please help me wrap my head around this issue, and voice where you stand in regards to this topic!