Prego and the Loon

Revisiting a Restraining Order With Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde

In Domestic Violence, Family, Relationships, Restraining Order on January 21, 2015 at 7:06 am

RO 

It is my understanding that in California restraining orders can be issued for up to five years, and after that it is the individuals responsibility to renew their restraining order if they still feel that protection is needed.

Hi my name is Blank Blank, and I am a victim of domestic violence. I have suffered many moons living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, AKA my ex-husband, or more intimately known on my blog as my abuser. I had the courage to leave everything… the house that I purchased with my own money, my career, my friends, my doctors, and so much more. As I have said before I took with me only the dearest of treasures, my baby. I have suffered through many days and many nights of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). I can check living in a homeless shelter off my bucket list because when I left everything I had to go somewhere. I could probably even check every form of self help group or therapy off that list as well because some were required by my living situation, and let’s just face it some I really needed. I have battled with the difficulties of being a single mother. No one to share in the good, the bad, and the ugly. No child support checks magically showing up on my doorstep. I had to listen to my child as he said, “My Daddy is at work.” He had never seen his daddy, and therefore in his mind he was at work. This was his thought process as a preschooler. At a later date I had to listen once again as he stated, “I have no Daddy.” Hearing these words roll off my sons tongue whispered so many things in my ears. This was a sad reminder of the white picket fence that never was, and the abuse that has forever left an imprint on my heart. 

For the past five years I have tried desperately to put the past behind, and tonight I revisit those dark corners in the hopes to maintain my sanity and our safety. I will be filing to renew our restraining order when I’m through battling things in my head. 

I would love to hear if any of my readers have words of wisdom on this topic, stories to share, or positive inspirational quotes. My mind is currently a mess, and would love to read some stories of comfort and hope. Thank you for taking the time to read and/or interact with my blog!

The Absent Father

In Absent Father on August 12, 2013 at 5:10 pm

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Sadly there comes a time in every single mamas moments that your little munchkin will arouse the question, “Where is my daddy?” or if your child is anything like my son he or she might say, “I don’t have a daddy!” Words that physically rip ones heart out and crushes like no other. If you’re like me a statement like this could take you by surprise. At the time my only response was, “…but you have a mommy who loves you very much!” Since then I have done a little bit of reading in hopes to be better prepared the next time I am confronted with such a statement.

In my research and discoveries I have come to the below conclusions. For any child that may present this predicament you need to remain strong and be prepared to respond with an age appropriate answer. Most importantly you want your child (or children) to know that they are loved. You want to provide them with a sense of security and reassurance. I firmly believe that the truth is the best answer, but remember that they are not always asking nor do they need to here the entire story. Again age appropriate! Inform your child how lucky they are to have various male role models in their life. In sum the three most important things to walk away with are to provide an open heart, a sense of security, and an honest story.

Looking for resources on the subject matter you may be interested in:
Raising Boys Without Men by Dr. Peggy Drexler http://www.peggydrexler.com/raisingboys.html
When Dad Hurts Mom by Lundy Bancroft http://www.amazon.com/When-Dad-Hurts-Mom-Witnessing/dp/0425200310

Please keep in mind there are also books available to read to your children:
Do I Have A Daddy? by Jeanne Warren Lindsay http://www.amazon.com/Do-Have-Daddy-Story-Single-Parent/dp/1885356625
Raising You Alone by Warren Hanson http://www.amazon.com/Raising-You-Alone-Warren-Hanson/dp/0972650466/ref=pd_sim_b_1
Love Is A Family by Roma Downey http://www.amazon.com/Love-Is-Family-Roma-Downey/dp/0439444233/ref=pd_sim_b_5

For a mama who is currently dealing with such questions I would love to hear thoughts and suggestions on the subject matter from my readers, and any further resources that may be helpful. Thank you for your love and support! Sincerely, Prego

Should Food Stamps be Accepted at Restaurants?

In Family on April 28, 2013 at 7:30 pm

FoodStamps

I awoke this morning to find this image in my Facebook news feed, and LIKED by one of my so-called Facebook friends. This image personally hit home, and I found it to be extremely disturbing. Just to give you a little background information if you haven’t been keeping up with my blog… I am a single mother to one beautiful toddler. I left my ex-husband when my child was just a newborn infant due to domestic violence. In addition I left my career because we worked under the same roof, and I was frightened what may happen if I had stuck around. I currently have a restraining order against him, and fortunately haven’t seen or heard from him in quite sometime. Overall I left everything I had ever worked for and ever known to create a beautiful life for myself and my child. Which brings me to the image above… during that time I applied for food stamps amongst many other government programs to help me get back on my feet. These programs which I had paid into over time were a complete god sent during this time of struggle, rebuild, and restructuring of my life. Government programs such as food stamps helped ease my mind and mental stability, so that I could focus all my time and attention on getting back on my feet. (Side note: Imagine being a first time mother to a newborn baby, dealing with a psycho ex-husband, a restraining order, and trying to get back and your feet)

Now back to the issue at hand: Should food stamps be accepted at restaurants? My personal answer to this question would be YES! Reason number one: Imagine being homeless without kitchen facilities to cook a nice warm meal. Reason number two: Imagine being a single adult living in a shelter without access to cooking facilities. Reason number three: Imagine being a hard working individual trying to raise a family, needing a little break from the stress of daily household chores such as cooking. Have a heart, and put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Many hard working adults are struggling in todays economy. Think before you choose to open up, and speak about something you may know absolutely nothing about! PLEASE provide thoughts and opinions regarding this situation… Do you believe food stamps should be accepted at restaurants?

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