What Does the Kool-Aid Guy, Jack Torrance, and My Ex Have in Common?

Flashbacks… I raced into our bedroom. My Ex trailing close behind. My heart pounding faster with each step. My mind focused purely on the moment at hand, SURVIVAL for myself and my unborn child. I slammed the door seconds from missing his hand, and I was able to lock the door just in time. I sat quivering, afraid to move, and unable to breathe. My Ex was banging on the door trying to get in. I thought I was safe. The door was locked. The pounding continued, and the next portion of my story was truly surreal. Imagine the big red round Kool-Aid guy jumping through my door screaming “Oh yeah.” Now envision Jack Nicholson in Stanley Kubricks movie The Shining breaking down the door with an axe, peaking his head through, and screaming “Here’s Johnny.” My Ex did not have an axe. Nor was he big, red, and round. He was drunk, enraged, and abusive. At that moment a portion of that door came crashing down, and I was trapped.

Cliques, Questions, and a Punch in The Face

Every Clique or individual has their top 10 questions that they ask someone they recently meet. For example sports fans might ask other like parties… “What’s your favorite team?” or “Did you see the game last night on television?” New mommies have a similar set of questions, and amongst those questions is my favorite… “Are you planning on having another child?” I imagine this is every single mommies least favorite question. When I am personally approached with this question many thoughts race through my head… “Yes I plan on having a few more with the husband who I recently divorced.” “Yes I plan on having random sex with a stranger in the near future.” “Yes I will be having artificial insemination, thanks for asking… oh and does your husband want to donate?” I realized these ladies asking may not be aware of my current status, or even how this question may affect me… so I’m going to fill you in. If you want to punch me in the face, or feel like ripping my heart right out of my chest then ask me this one question. This question is a reminder of what once was, and what could have been my happily ever after. Any thoughts or opinions regarding this topic?

Ripped Out My Heart, and Ate it For Breakfast

A scene flashes on the television… a woman, a big beautiful diamond ring, and a happy couple. It’s as if someone just took a knife, stabbed me in the heart, ripped it out, and ate it for breakfast while no one was looking. The whole scene sends me straight to tears. I often look back, and wonder what happened to my dream, my happy family, and the man I thought to be so incredibly romantic. At what point did things take a turn for the worst?