Flashbacks… I raced into our bedroom. My Ex trailing close behind. My heart pounding faster with each step. My mind focused purely on the moment at hand, SURVIVAL for myself and my unborn child. I slammed the door seconds from missing his hand, and I was able to lock the door just in time. I sat quivering, afraid to move, and unable to breathe. My Ex was banging on the door trying to get in. I thought I was safe. The door was locked. The pounding continued, and the next portion of my story was truly surreal. Imagine the big red round Kool-Aid guy jumping through my door screaming “Oh yeah.” Now envision Jack Nicholson in Stanley Kubricks movie The Shining breaking down the door with an axe, peaking his head through, and screaming “Here’s Johnny.” My Ex did not have an axe. Nor was he big, red, and round. He was drunk, enraged, and abusive. At that moment a portion of that door came crashing down, and I was trapped.
Prego and the Loon 
Great blog! Talk about flashbacks! It’s been over 20 years since I got out of my abusive relationship. He was a binge drinker. I was fortunate enough to figure out how to stop the abuse quickly. He got into alcoholism treatment and I spent a lot of time in Al-Anon as well as other therapy: marriage and individual. I think I learned the most from Al-Anon though and it didn’t cost a thing. After 7 years of trying to support his sobriety but him not really “getting it”, I left. He was dry but not sober, if you know what I mean. Anyway, 19+ years now with the love of my life. It was a relief when I realized that I had learned how to recognize a good man. Glad to hear how well you are doing now!
Unfortunately, I don’t ever seem to have learnt how to recognise a good man! I’ve picked some right ‘uns!
Carol.
Hi! Thanks so much for following our podcast and blog! Thanks for sharing your experiences here – I know they are going to help so many readers!
been there….reading this was not a fun experience because I lived it with you and lived it through my own experiences. I was 8 months pregnant with my 2nd child the last time their father laid a hand on me….He tried to strangle me and my 5 year old son attacked him so he started choking him. The only persons who ever stood up for me were women. Men always clammed up. It was no different that morning, my best friend did a flying leap onto his back like a possessed banshee and we all proceeded on beating the shit out of him for once. My 5 year old had night terrors for years after that…but after that I never went back. Proud of you.
It’s good you can share this story, others need to know this goes on. My mother didn’t get away, he killed her when she was 38, knocked her down and her skull cracked.
I believe that beautiful people with big hearts overflowing with love hoping to change the world often find themselves in abusive situations! Your story brought tears to my eyes, and I’m so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you!
As a survivor of domestic violence, this story hits home just as hard as he did me. I am thrilled you came across my blog, so that I may come across your’s. There is a comfort in seeing others in similar situations escape.
I’m glad you and I are both safe now.
I think we spend an unfathomable amount of time in silence that it is refreshing to finally be able to speak up. It is an added bonus when the person is truly able to relate, and know that you are not alone. Thank you for reading my blog, and providing your support!
You’re blog is such an inspiration! I’m glad you left and I know in my heart you have encouraged other women to get out as well.
I am so happy you have the strength to write about such terrible experiences. Is your ex locked up!? He certainly needs to be! I had to put a restraining order out on my ex too. He left me high and dry with two kids and a month later tried to break into my home. He was ordered to never come to my house again or he would do jail time. He was very verbally and emotionally abusive. He said the Marine Corp life taught him that. (I think every Marine on the face of the planet would be purely insulted to read that!) The sad reality is now he’s paying for it, I think. He developed cancer which would have taken his life if he dd not get intense treatment to stop. Sad part is, he’ still a dick occasionally. It was definitely the bottom period of my life. If it were not for my kids, I could have seen myself doing things to myself that would have been quite damaging. It was a blessing him walking out on me. And your EX being an EX is clearly a blessing you! Wonderful blog site you have!
Thank you for visiting, liking and following my blog. I am sorry for your experiences with your husband. Nobody should have to go through that. Unfortunately I know and have known some who are in difficult relationships but for some reason are impervious to advice from those outside. It seems to be a kind of blindness. All we, the observers, can do is be there to pick up the pieces, to provide support and hope that our friends and loved ones don’t pay the ultimate price.
this is a very scary story. 😦 reading this, I feel like reading a script for a drama movie. I’m so sorry you had to go through this, but I also am really happy that you could get away. I personally never have experienced a relationship like that, but my mom did. My dad was an abusive alcoholic. He never did anything to me, I was his only child and he loved me to pieces, but he physically and verbally abused my mom and my two sisters. I was too little to really understand, but when he was around and I could sense trouble coming around the corner, I always have been very afraid for my mom. I think she would have never divorced and gotten away, If he would have not died. I hope you and your baby will get piece now and I really do hope that you will get a husband that you ever have dreamed of! they are out there… just hard to see at first.
Thanks for liking and visiting my site runtontorun.wordpress.com. I don’t know personally what you have experienced (thank god) but 2 of my uncles liked to be free with their fists so I have an inkling of what you mean. You are very brace to write as you do as many people can’t put words to how they feel about terrible experiences but writing about it can be healing and freeing for many…Take care
I can relate. My ex wasn’t Jack Nicholson in The Shining or the Kool Aid man…..but he did smash through my life like a wrecking ball. His drug of choice was meth. Every time he abandoned me to go on days long binges, he would inevitably return to abuse me.