Prego and the Loon

Carrying Info Back to the Enemy

In Anxiety on October 16, 2012 at 4:11 am

Monday afternoon a black Mustang sits parked behind my car. The driver has been sitting in it for quite some time. It makes me nervous… What if it’s him? What if it’s one of his friends? What if it’s a private detective watching my every move and carrying information back to the enemy. In this case my Ex-husband. I jot down the license plate number just in case, and file it away to possibly reference it at a later date. I hope a day comes soon when I can put this behind me, RELAX, and feel at ease.

  1. Ugh. Is there any way to find out who the license plate belongs to? Knowledge IS power…

    • I imagine there is a way to find out, but sometimes things are best left in the dark!

    • The state Department of Motor Vehicles would have the plate owner. But you’ll probably need a friend in the legal profession or journalism to look it up for you. It never hurts to Google the plate number, just on the chance that it may turn up in some document. It may be risky to shake this tree with that ex, but if you live in a small community, like a suburb, you could call the police and ask them to check out a strange car in the neighborhood. Just the presence of a police car cruising by could be a deterrent. Knowledge is definitely power β€” stalk him back.

      • Knowledge is power, and I often tuck away bits of information I have seen or heard. Even though I have this knowledge I am trying to move on, no longer obsess, or make domestic violence my life long career. I already wasted enough time with my ex husband… I don’t want to spend anymore. Today is about my son and I, and moving forward! Thanks for your suggestions and support!

  2. why didn’t you knock on the window and ask

  3. Rest assured that one day, you will not have to live in fear, constantly looking over your shoulder.

  4. Me and my mum left my dad when I was 4 and we were afraid for about 6 months after. We’re fine now, my mum thrived and we have an amazing relationship, I wish the same for you and your little one. X

    • Thank you so much… It’s invaluable for me to be able to hear the point of view from a child that was dealing with a similar situation! I often worry about my child, his thoughts and feelings, and how he is going to feel 10 or 20 years from now… Thanks for sharing, and I’m so glad that you and your mum are doing well!!

  5. How scary!! Do not lost hope. This will end!! We will keep you in our prayers!!!

  6. Wow Prego, what a blog. Hang in there – I’ll say a prayer for you. We have a single mom currently living with us that has gone through her share of abuse. I constantly feel that I’m in awe of her for her courage for dealing with all that she has gone through. Keep going to your support network for help – hang in there!

    • Support system is key, and I’m glad that young lady has you to lean on! If she needs another shoulder to cry on, or an ear to listen please let her know that I am here! Thanks for your support!

  7. Wow. Your ex sounds awesome. Pay my airfare and I’ll take out his knee a la Nancy Kerrigan/Tanya Harding. Wait…he doesn’t read this, does he?

  8. I am not sure where you live, but there are stalking laws in just about every western country. Taking down the plate was a great idea. If he is harrassing you, keep a notebook with all the information of when, where, and how. Track his phone calls to you, and any obnoxious or scary behavior. Carry a camera of camera phone and take photos of him following or harrassing you.

  9. “I hope a day comes soon when I can put this behind me, RELAX, and feel at ease.”
    So do I… I shall follow you, and visit when I can… Carolyn πŸ™‚

  10. Thank you for visiting my blog. That’s how I found you today. I wish you and your wee one every peace x

  11. A van sat across the road from my house forever, it freaked me out with the no windows and such, so I ended up going over to it one day and peekin in, nothing, totally empty!

  12. I will pray for you to have peace, and for God’s protection over you and your son. May God bless you during this season of your life!

  13. I hope too that you’ll be in peace very soon, not afraid anymore because that must be excruciating living like this. Thank you for the follow and, please, take care. All my best wishes to you and to your son from Marseille, France.

  14. Thank you for liking my post, Prego! Wishing you well, a life without harm to you and your boy! With a prayer for you both,

  15. This sounds very much like the book I am trying to finish, this time the car is a black Buick.

    • I would love to compile this portion of my life into a book, but I find it hard to focus with a toddler running around. Thanks for stopping by, and taking a moment to read my blog!

  16. If they show again… call the cops.

  17. Stories like this make my blood boil (oh, and my coffee went cold reading your blog). Sorry you had to experience all this. But as they say, sh*t happens. By leaving, you did the right thing, as hard as it must have been. I wish more people had the courage to do so. Hoping for you that time will heal some of the wounds, but it will be hard to forget. Good Luck to you and the little guy. I will stop by again in the future.
    Thanks for the like and following one of my blogs. Try ‘my other stuff’ as well if you like. πŸ™‚
    Greetings from Germany, Jule

    • Unfortunately so many people in our society are raised in an abusive environment, and therefore continuing the cycle of violence with each generation. It is extremely difficult to leave an abusive spouse especially if you already have low self esteem. Thankfully I was raised in a supportive family, and I was able to turn to them in my time of need. Thanks for stopping by, and showing your support!

  18. I’m really sorry for what you are going through. You are strong for getting out.

  19. The joy of the Lord be your strength. Praying for you

  20. I hope you are excercising regularly. The stress of your situation can make you and your child sick if you don’t find someway to release it. Your child feels your fear, they are so perceptive. Take some self defense classes! They will empower you!

    • Funny… my son happens to be sick this weekend, and I will be attending a women’s empowerment group tomorrow! You speak words of wisdom. Thanks for your suggestions, and support!!

  21. Getting out was the only option – the only way you can hope to raise your child without his ‘learning’ that violent behavior is acceptable. Our son is nearly 3 years old – he watches and learns from everyone around him.
    I agree with earlier comments: you should call the cops or investigate. Better that than spend the day in fear. Thank you for stopping by on my blog!

    • Once in awhile I fear that my child will grow up in his fathers foot steps, and I will be a punching bag for not one but two people. I often need to remind myself that I am no longer in that situation, and today I try to surround my child with positive role models. Thank you for stopping by, and showing your support!!

  22. I had a violent college boyfriend. I was sooo madly in love with him that I failed to see the signs also. The time we did get pregnant, it ended as an early term failure and though I sometimes get down around the time (March) I had to go in for that D&C, I am still grateful that I am not attached to that person. I’m also grateful he wasn’t the crazy type to come after me. I do not blame you a bit for not approaching that vehicle, and currently living with fear because even though I don’t live in that fear now, I did when I was with him. Just because you have fear doesn’t mean you lack strength. I only hope the best for you and your son and you have gained a new reader. πŸ™‚

  23. Thanks for the like and the following of Shadows. Your blog is amazing … and your story. It will be interesting to follow. I am sorry, though, that you have known such sorrow and pain.

    • “Out of the darkness comes the light” – I’m not sure who said this, but I believe it to be true! Thanks for your interest in my blog, and I look forward to interacting along the way!!

  24. Thank you for following my blog. Blessings to you. May you remain strong and have faith to carry on through this difficult time (however long this may be.) It has been my experience that situations change, people change and you change and come through the other side a much stronger and wiser person. Know that you are being watched over constantly. God Bless

  25. Praying for you and your son! God bless.

  26. My prayers are with you. I know what is like to be abused and I know what it is like to have a stalker. It’s a mistake not to take them seriously, but we cannot let them rule our lives. It is not in our nature to be afraid… that is so limiting, but we need to remember there is a difference between being afraid and living with some fear. I am no longer afraid, but I will always carry just a little bit of fear with me… it is what keeps me alert and grounded… it is what helps me sleep at night… it is what makes me more than just a survivor.

  27. Thank you for visiting Irresponsibility and liking my post. Best wishes for courage, strength and safety as you deal with a nightmare situation.

  28. Prego, I’m praying for both you and your son’s safety, and that you will soon be released from the prison of fear that tries to smother you. I pray that the Lord will change your ex-husband’s heart, and that he will no longer torment you or your son. I pray that you will experience peace and joy, and that the God of all comfort will bring comfort and healing to your broken heart in Jesus’ name. God bless you!

  29. Hi, as I’m reading your blog I’m reminded of an herbal remedy called Sceletium. It’s helped me with anxiety, maybe you’d be interested in it also – Stay strong in your faith and you will overcome this!

  30. Thank you for liking my blog. Yours is amazing. The way you openly share your feelings about such a difficult time is inspiring. I am sharing your blog address with my daughter who is going through very similar stuff. I hope she visits because the way you share your story is empowering. Stay safe.

  31. I hope you find inner peace soon. Maybe you can call the police when you think someone is parked outside too long?

  32. Definitely good thinking to jot down the license!

  33. Be sure to document everything, time of day, date, specific conversation or details on what happened. Facts are key to support any type of position within the law and the court system.

  34. Gosh I know this feeling…record it and you just gotta be careful and try and dodge the person somehow….i hope you find peace soon….hugs

  35. I was married to a violent man when I was 19, we had two children and the violence kept escalating. After I left with the girls, he stalked us for two years and it was terrifying, but eventually I got my life back. Stay safe!! I will say a prayer for you.

    • I’m glad you made it out of that situation alive. Unfortunately some people are not that lucky. Thank you for sharing your personal story, and providing your support. I look forward to future interactions!

  36. Thank you for your recent interest in my blog. If you are interested in getting control over your thoughts, emotions and behaviour, then hypnosis can be of great help. Specially in situations like the one you describe here. You know you have the right to be happy and to relax in front of this stressful situation. Easier said than done. The subconscious mind plays up and triggers the fight or flight response. Hypnotherapy offers techniques which can teach us to relax, build a safe place in our inner mind where we can go when things get emotionally upsetting, and help us build confidence and motivation towards the future. It is a personal, private and unique tool we all possess. My aim is to pass as much information about hypnosis and hypnotherapy to as many people as possible.

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