Just sending out a little bit of positive energy to all my followers and friends! Big hugs
Archive for the ‘Self Help’ Category
You know that moment when that special song comes on the radio and your eyes light up, you turn the music up a little louder, and you enjoy as it takes you to that magical place in time. Suddenly your walking on air as countless memories flood your system. You know the lyrics by heart, and you are singing at the top of your lungs as if you were the only person in the room. If you’re driving along in your car your fingers begin tapping, and you may even start moving your head to the beat. Although if you’re out of the car you are rocking. You have a big smile, and are carelessly dancing around the room. You are happy!
Unfortunately life doesn’t always paint a pretty picture, and sometimes you are reminded of heartbreaking moments. You may want to crawl in bed and pull the covers up over your head. An endless stream of tears may run down your face, and you may choose to cry yourself to sleep that night. If you’re in the car you may choose to change the radio station. In a flash music can trigger an unwanted reaction that you may not be ready for.
When you spend X amount of time with a significant other you typically walk away from the relationship with a handful of songs that have some memory tied to them. Unfortunately even if they were happy memories at the time they may now have a sour feeling attached to them.
My Ex and I have a special song that we called “our” song. We have a song that was playing the moment he asked to marry me. We have songs that were played at our wedding, and others we use to dance to home alone in our family room. We have special playlists we made together, and one specifically for our wedding. His favorite band is glued to my memory bank… as well as a popular movie score artist. Sadly we even have a make up song, and it pulls at my heart-strings every time I quietly listen to the lyrics. Each of these songs trigger a painful story buried deep beneath the surface. We shared a life together, and a playlist that recorded each moment we spent with one another.
A few years have passed, and I am slowly moving on. Many things have helped me through this emotionally draining process. I strongly believe that you should surround yourself with positive energy to create the perfect atmosphere for healing. Exercise to release endorphins, increase energy, elevate your mood, and boost your self-confidence with a fabulous new you. I highly recommend reading in the form of self-help books. Support groups are an excellent source of free therapy and support. In addition they offer a safe place to vent your frustrations with possible needed advice. If you are not interested in pouring your heart out to a group of complete strangers I recommend seeing just one, a therapist. Maintaining balance within your life during these trying times can be very beneficial. For example: work hard, play hard! Small realistic goals can help build a positive self-image, and provide you with a sense of accomplishment. Physical contact in the form of massages and hugs are always a good thing! Finally I believe that giving back is a big bold neon sign that screams your on the road to recovery. Please keep in mind that healing is a process. It takes time and a little bit of work on your part. Although it is well worth the effort when you find the amazing new you still able to enjoy the old playlists.
Please SHARE one sentimental song good or bad that holds some form of value in your heart! Then let’s join forces, and create a new playlist with a positive twist… What song would you put on your happy inspirational playlist, and why?
This is my personal TOP 5 list of books to educate yourself on the topic of domestic violence, and help you to recover from the situation. Personally I would read them in the order listed below, although depending on where you’re at in the cycle you may choose to start elsewhere.
1) Why Does He Do That? by: Lundy Bancroft
As the cover further states this book takes you “Inside the minds of angry and controlling men” A well written book from an actual counselor who specializes in working with abusive men. This book educates you on how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship. I have often heard this book referred to as The BIBLE.
2) Safe And Unfound Escaping Your Abuser by: J.E. Taylor
This book is an excellent go to resource guide of everything you may need to know to escape and move on with your life.
3) The Gift Of Fear by: Gavin De Becker
The front cover further states “This book can save your life… and other survival signals that protect us from violence” Reading this empowering book may help you recognize the subtle signs of danger before it’s too late.
4) Codependent No More by: Melody Beattie
I read this book shortly after I left my Ex, and it helped me to rebuild my boundaries and move on with my life.
5) Courage To Change by: Al-Anon Family Groups
“The Al-Anon Family Groups are a fellowship of relatives and friends of alcoholics who share their experience, strength, and hope in order to solve their common problems.”
These books truly helped me, and I am grateful to the various ladies that introduced them to me over time. I am also aware that there are many other books out there on the subject matter, and myself and I imagine my readers would love to hear further suggestions regarding this topic. Provide your thoughts and opinions, and you will be helping someone somewhere!