pregoandtheloon

My So-Called Fairy Tale Uncensored

I fell in LOVE… he was charming, charismatic, and extremely romantic. After a brief time frame fools rushed in… My soon to be hubby asked my father for my hand in marriage, and off we ran to get married. Two short months later we were expecting our first little bundle of joy.

During this time I failed to recognize the RED FLAGS… the unrealistic expectations, the violent tendencies, the close minded attitude, possessiveness and extreme jealousy.

Although at some moment the light went on, and POW… I’m not sure if it was the broken door hanging by a screw, the many holes left behind by an angry fist, the knife marks in the ceiling, the dent in my car, the broken trinkets, the shattered mirror, or the sigh of relief that my unborn child and I just survived another violent act.

Five months pregnant I got in my car, and fled… leaving behind the home which I had individually purchased, my career, my friends, my pre-natal doctor, all my possessions, and the person I had wrongly mistaken for my love. The so called man of my DREAMS! This was the most difficult decision I have ever had to make, and with each decision that followed I grew stronger.

Now of course no one gets it right the first time around, and I am no exception. As a newlywed, a first time bride, and soon to be mommy I remained hopeful and optimistic that my happily ever after was just around the corner. That being said, my husband and I continued communicating, and I set up boundaries and guidelines if we were to get back together. I had three simple rules that I requested of my husband: counseling, AA, and if you choose to drink choose to spend the night elsewhere. It seemed simple enough… for a non-addict!

Eager to have my husband there for the birth of our baby I returned home one month before our child was born. Upon my return I tried to squeeze nine months of the happy pregnancy I envisioned into one month: birthing classes, baby shower, and nesting to prepare for the little one. Amongst the chaos little man was born a week early.

My husband and I had a brief period of bliss, and a downward spiral to follow! Our relationship ended two short months after the birth of our son. My husband acted out, I called the police, and I ran away. Once again I left behind all my belongings, and one of my dream jobs. I took with me only the most valuable of treasures, our child.

If you have never been in an abusive relationship then it is unimaginable why one would stay under such dreadful circumstances. I fell in love with my husband for many reason. The abuse is not apparent at first sight, but rather gradually unfolds over time. Unfortunately by the time I realized I was in an abusive relationship I was married with our first child on the way.

  1. Thanks for sharing your story. You are very strong to have left. I went back three times before finally leaving my abuser for good. Sending you positive healing vibes.

  2. This is a powerful story that many women can relate to. Thanks for sharing.

  3. I think your blog is really powerful. As such, I have nominated you for the Sunshine Blogger Award. All the details can be found on my original post: http://kateginnivan.com/2013/02/26/it-is-award-season-after-all/ :)

  4. thanks for sharing your story, powerful writing, I too know how it feels xx good luck for the future , i cant wait to read more

  5. Powerful story. Thank you for sharing!

  6. Thank you for subscribing to my blog (Feeding the Babe) this week. Yours story is very empowering and inspirational. I wish you and your child a happy and promising future.

  7. Just wanted you to know that your story has touched me and inspires me. I’m sure you hear that all the time :-)

    I don’t want you to feel pressured or obligated but I’ve nominated you for the Versatile Blogger award! http://michelledicken.wordpress.com/2013/03/08/4651/

    Congratulations!

  8. Thank you for stopping by my blog. Unfortunately I can relate very well to your story. I wish I had the courage to act as quickly as you did, though. I appreciate you speaking out about it – so many women still feel as if they are the only ones in this situation or, worse, they feel it is normal! The more that speak out, the more these women can be helped. Knowledge is, after all, power.

  9. Your words are honest and powerful and need to be told, it is a sad reality that one in four of us woman will go through a similar experience. Limping away was the best thing I ever did and it changed me and my sons lives so much for the better. Thanks for subscribing to my blog and look forward to reading more from you xox

  10. The unfolding of abuse, if I read and understood your posting correctly, was not gradual. Perhaps if his behavior had been spread over a year or two, a gradual surrending to his abusive addictions, then that would have been gradual. You made a life-saving decision and sharing openly will certainly be of benefit to someone who may be in turmoil after seeing their dream turn to such a sudden nightmare.

  11. Remember that you loved a dynamic man who swept you off your feet, they are the life of the party easy to see in a crowd and generally can’t be looked away from. When I was in the process of leaving my husband who was diagnosed with bipolar, addiction problems and PTSD after 14 yrs I would pray at night let me fall in love with a nice person, let me have the strength and insight to walk away early the next time. I dated a few nice guys and I have fallen in love with a really nice person. Me, I know that sounds egotistical but over this past year I realized no man could heal that pain I had to do it all on my own. Good luck- love

  12. Thank you for the follow on our blog. Thank you for your honesty on yours.

  13. My sentiments echo everyone else’s – Thank God you got out of that and your son won’t be taught it’s ok to be cruel. GOOD JOB

  14. A similar story to one I know well. You really can’t help who you fall for… but you can make sure you do the best for your children. Good for you x

  15. Thank you for sharing your story and Thank you for stopping by my blog.

  16. [...] I should have a look at theirs. Being a new and keen blogger I did and you should too; it is called Pregoandtheloon It is basically a blog about a very brave lady who is rebuilding her life after fleeing domestic [...]

  17. Happiness and blessings to you!

  18. Thank you for stopping by my blog. I grew up watching the abusive relationship between my parents unfold. You are so right–it happens so gradually, it’s hard to see where you’re going until you’re deep in it. At age 41, I am still unraveling the effects of this experience of abuse. I wrote the blog entry, Climbing Out of the Past as a reminder to myself of what I’ve learned about leaving abuse behind. You might be interested. All the best to you in your journey!

    http://amomnextdoor.wordpress.com/2013/01/09/climbing-out-of-the-past/

  19. Thanks for stopping by my blog so I can to discover your story. So powerful and courageous to talk about your experiences. Silence is too often a weapon for abusers of many kinds.

  20. Thanks for liking my post. All the best to you! Stay strong and positive.

  21. I am so sorry for what happened to you, and your story is so emotional. It really speaks to me even though I am young and couldn’t ever fathom something like this. Like many others have said, very powerful and oh my gosh. You’re very brave

  22. I cannot even begin to imagine what its like to be in your situation…..Im sorry that you had to live it …………..

  23. Thanks for checking out my blog! I hope your blog encourages others living in the same situation. These guys usually are charming and charismatic(in the beginning)! This story has a familiar ring to it.There is a way out, it’s not easy, but it’s possible.

  24. What a terrible situation that is, sadly, far too common. I admire you for having the strength and perspective you have to take steps to keep you and your baby safe. No doubt, sharing your story here will inspire other abused women to protect themselves, too!

  25. Love your blog! Good for you.:) Very inspirational! Happy blogging!!!

  26. Thank you for visiting my blog! I look forward to reading more about your journey.

  27. I have nominated you for the versatile blogger award follow the link and check out the details. :)
    http://jennessjohnston78.wordpress.com/2013/04/24/versatile-blogger-award-nomination/
    Jenness

  28. I just wrote a similar post “Control and Abuse – Why Women Stay”. You are right, in that there are many reasons why people stay. It’s not all black in white. I look forward to reading more of your posts.

  29. I’m sorry that you had to go through all of those things. But it is such a relief to learn that you are out of that abusive relationship. <3

  30. I commend you for being brave and sharing your story. Very inspiring! I was once in an abusive relationship myself and like you were saying in your story “everything is easier said than done.” People from the outside looking in may say what they would and wouldn’t do but, once you’re placed in that situation, that is the ultimate test of time.

  31. Very powerful and honest. Thanks for sharing your story and liking my post.

  32. Hey Prego. I love your blog so much. It is so moving and I love hearing from you. Your struggle is so inspiring. For this reason, I have nominated you for the Liebster Award. This is a sort of award that a reader can nominate you for because they love your blog and hearing more from you personally. So, there are some questions and things that go along with this. If you would like further instructions on what to do, etc. with this information, this is my post regarding the award: If you want more details on what you have to do, then my post on my nomination is here: http://cleitch92.wordpress.com/2013/05/19/an-award-for-my-blog-what/

    Keep being awesome!

  33. Reading your blog is inspiring! I’ve nominated you for a Very Inspiring Blogger Award! It’s ok if you don’t want to “play”! :-)
    The rules for receiving this award are:
    1. Display the award logo on your blog.
    2. Link back to the person who nominated you.
    3. State 7 things about yourself.
    4. Nominate 15 other bloggers for this award and link to them.
    5. Notify those bloggers of the nomination and the award’s requirements.

  34. You have shown immense courage and strength in your situation. I personally know women who faced similar situations for many years but could not gather up the will to move away. I hope your child brings you continued joy and happiness *hugs*
    And i hope you find a path in your life where you find your dream job, new friends and experiences.

  35. You are so strong, so brave, and such an inspiration.

    As a recent escapee of an abusive relationship (and a lady with a baby on the way!), I can relate to so much of your story. They suck you in and move so quickly because they’re hoping to trap you. I’m so glad you got out.

    sending so much love! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

  36. I just nominated you for an “I am part of the WordPress family” award! You can read about the award at http://21stcenturyrenaissancegirl.wordpress.com/2013/07/15/i-am-part-of-the-wordpress-family/. Enjoy!

  37. Miss you posts. Hope you’re ok! xx

  38. I think you did the right thing.Your little infant was lucky he was not exposed to the violence.It is difficult to know a person,some are very good actors,they can fool you by showing fake affection. I thank you for sharing your story.It may warn others.

  39. You are a strong woman who choose life for you and your child. All the best. Sue
    Womenlivinglifeafter50.com

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