pregoandtheloon

Prego Project… Voicing Violence Award

In Awards on December 7, 2012 at 6:59 am

PregoProjectpresentedbypregoandtheloon

At first I was unable to tell my story of domestic violence because I was in SHOCK. I couldn’t believe what was going on around me. I was stuck in that moment of… Did that just happen to me? I was sure I was having a bad nightmare and I would awake at any moment. Then I was in DENIAL. I was in complete disbelief of everything going on around me. How could my husband, the so called man of my dreams abuse me? His angry fists of rage were life threatening and his words cut like a knife, but I was still HOPEFUL. Which is why I still did not speak up at this point. I mean imagine if I told my friends and family the horrible things I was experiencing at home, and then we patched everything up and lived happily ever after. Lastly I was AFRAID of the possible consequences that lay ahead if I spoke up. I was afraid of what he would do to me. I was afraid of what people would think. I was afraid of where I would go or what I would do. I was afraid I would have to follow through with some life changing event, and I wasn’t ready. I was afraid of my unborn child’s fatherless future, and the custody battle that would take place. I was afraid of the possible hardships. I was afraid of the UNKNOWN!

It took me quite sometime before I chose to speak up, and tell those around me what was truly going on at my household. Why I had hung new pictures on the wall, or what really happened to various objects around the house. Why I had become withdrawn, and stopped inviting loved ones over altogether. Bit by bit I was slowly repasting my life back together with each word which rolled off my tongue. I was regaining my voice, and no longer having to hide the secrets buried deep within my bleeding heart. It was beginning to feel good, and I felt a sense of freedom.

I’m not here to judge, nor am I here to encourage anyone to do anything they are not ready to do. Everyone is different, each relationship varies, and domestic violence is different across the board. What may be good for me, could possibly be detrimental for another. Only you know whats right for you!

Since I began blogging a couple months ago I have had a number of readers leave comments sharing their personal stories of struggles and strength at the hands of domestic violence. These men and women inspire me, encourage me, and provide me with strength. They bring me support, and leave me with HOPE for the future! I would like to take this time to graciously thank my friends and followers… It is comforting to know that I am not alone! Together there is STRENGTH IN NUMBERS, and we can help put an end to domestic violence!

That being said… I have created my own personal award that I will be handing out in the near future. I have titled it Prego Project, a voicing violence award presented by myself Prego and the Loon. I am trying to encourage people to speak up, and tell their story. PLEASE help provide strength and courage to those in need including myself. Your stories inspire me, and more importantly let myself and others know that we are not alone. To all those that have already shared bits and pieces of their bitter past THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart… your openness means the world to me, and it will not go overlooked!

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  1. u have done a commendable job lady..keep up da good work:)

  2. I started following your blog almost from the beginning, and every post you write fills me with pride. Even though I don’t know you. I am proud of you and everything you’ve done and everything you’ve stood up for.

  3. Indeed the award looks beautiful. From your account, I believe you deserve it and more. I look forward to having people appreciate it as it is with others.

  4. Leaving for me was the scariest, yet best thing I have ever done. Strength in numbers!

  5. Really inspiring stuff. Always enjoy reading your posts – if that’s the right word.

  6. Kudos to you for what you are doing.

  7. What a beautiful thing to do. I have such admiration for people like yourself who are brave enough to share their stories and change lives…yours and those who read your story.

  8. It took me almost 5 years, the time I had been married, to tell my parents and others what was going on in my marriage. I was very good at hiding what was happening behind closed doors or anytime we were alone. A perceptive friend saw what was going on in my marriage, saw the signs of abuse, and came to me one evening when I was alone. Gently asking questions, waiting patiently for answers, I had to tell the truth, admit it to myself, then others. I was being abused in many ways by my husband who took vows to love and protect me. I am still in shock as to what happened over the 7 years I was with my ex. The birth of my son, and the support of my friend, gave me the courage to break free. Thank you for sharing your story. You are very brave. Take care.

  9. I’ve untangled my memories of childhood abuse, but I’m still not honest enough to write about it. The closest I came to was this post, and none of my readers understood the true meaning: http://bellybuttonblues.wordpress.com/2012/11/06/where-do-fairies-come-from/
    My book has intimations of dysfunction if you read between the lines, but someday I might be brave enough to finish the story.

  10. You are curageous and brave!
    A true hero for encouraging so many and reaching out to make a difference!
    God bless you!

  11. The finding of one’s voice and the abililty to tell one’s story is one of the most powerful acts. We all benefit. I have blogged about this before, but I love Terry Tempest Williams’ phrase, “When one woman speaks…” when one woman speaks, she can change the world. I l love the idea of this award.

  12. I understand what you mean..girls are always hopeful and they end up hurting themselves over and over again. Great to hear that you finally broke that awful cycle. Way to go!

  13. Very commendable of you! It was refreshing to read this… everyone needs support in some way or another and this is a nice way to band together and offer our fellow human beings a kind cyber shoulder to lean on.

  14. Thank you for reading my blog at mymendingwall.com. I lived with physical abuse and neglect as a child from my mother and step-father. My mother was abused by my step-father, too. My first long-term relationship was with a man who began abusing me after after a few years into the relationship. You are courageous to share your story. I’m glad you broke the silence.

  15. That’s a beautiful idea! I think you’re very brave and strong to share your story with the world. Keep it up :)

  16. You are brave, like everyone says, and worthy of the love of someone who respects you. To this day I have not had the courage to tell my family what was going on, but they really didn’t (and still don’t) want to hear it anyway. When I told my mother I was leaving him, she had no idea what I had been going through, so her comment to me was, “How could you be so cruel to him after all he’s done for you?” Then I was too ashamed to tell her I had been lying for years. Well… there’s an argument for being honest with your family. That way, when you do need support, they will be able to give it.

  17. Great idea! All of the survivors can help each other become stronger and get out of bad situations.

  18. This is so important, meaningful and inspiring – thank you for your courage and for sharing!

  19. Your story, is inspiring for all who are suffering in silence.

  20. I love your pages and your form of self-expression, it is a pleasure to have you share your gifts through your pages Thank you. I have nominated you for blog of the Year please visit my page Blog of the year awards and nominations Thank you! Revised
    Posted on December 9, 2012

  21. I want to advice any girl or women, that its all in your hand in the beginning, if your man started to violate you by any mean you should stop him from the first time he does it, ban him from hurting you, because if you allow him & forgive him once, he will surely repeat it again.

  22. You’re very inspiring. I’m happy to be able to read about your journey from before and now. I wish you all the happiness, love, and goodness I can, as you deserve it all! I hope everything continues to work out for you in the future and that other people can be just as inspired as I am by you. Good luck with everything, I look forward to reading more from you :) Cheers!

  23. Thanks for checking out my blog! Love your title by the way!

  24. You are a precious one…

  25. So sorry to hear about what you’ve gone through! Good for you, movin on and sharing your story!

  26. It takes courage to share the truth.You are very inspiring. Im sure your blog will help a lot of women who maybe struggling..

  27. Your courage to present this is admirable. Hopefully those who need your example the most will see it!

  28. You are a brave and impressive woman! Thank you for sharing your story and being a voice for so many out there who have lost theirs.

  29. [...] Prego Project is a voicing violence award to provide support and strength to victims of domestic violence and those affected by it. I want to recognize those willing to speak up and discuss personal stories of domestic violence accounts. In an abusive relationship there is often a lot of crazy making, and over time you tend to feel that your voice means very little to the world around you. Sadly there are two things that showered me with a bit of sunshine, and helped me regain my voice… or actually make me feel validated. I say sadly because one was receiving my restraining order against my ex-husband. The second was receiving a certificate stamped and signed by the California State Secretary recognizing my situation and accepting me into the Safe at Home program. For those of you who are not aware the Safe at Home program, is “an address confidentiality program administered by the California Secretary of State’s office that offers victims anonymity and a new start towards a brighter future free from fear. Safe at Home participants can use a free P.O. Box instead of their home address to help them maintain their privacy when receiving first-class mail, opening a bank account, completing a confidential name change, filling out government documents, registering to vote, getting a driver’s license, enrolling a child in school, and more.” [...]

  30. I applaud every word you have written. When it was my time I did not have the courage to stand up and leave. The decision was made for me by the USMC. It took me years to finalize the divorce and finally move on.

    But every day it gets easier. There are still moments I catch myself looking over my shoulder. (Mostly out of habit.)

    Your words encourage, inspire and offer hope.

    Thank you.

  31. [...] Prego and the Loon – i know I’ve nominated her already for the sunshine award, but because she speaks up about her experiences with abuse, I feel better speaking up about mine.  She is very inspiring.  Thanks. [...]

  32. Thank you. I think this is an inspiration and a story and approach that people need to hear about – so I am posting this on my site http://johndwmacdonald.com. Also many thanks for your own visits to my site. Blessings on your important work! John

  33. Reblogged this on johndwmacdonald and commented:
    An inspiration – and a story and approach that people need to hear about!

  34. [...] My dear thanks go out to Prego and the Loon for nominating me for her Prego Project – Voicing Violence Award. [...]

  35. I commend you for standing up for yourself and your child, you are so courageous for speaking your truth and for taking back your power. You should be very proud of yourself for speaking out against violence against women and children. You are a very powerful and inspirational women, thank you for sharing! BTW, thanks for stopping by my blog and I greatly appreciate the follow!

  36. Reblogged this on Oyia Brown and commented:
    Totally unacceptable – to leave is the only answer as it will never stop. Such behaviour permits no future for an unborn child.

  37. Thank you for following my blog. I’m trying to work through some very recent issues with an abuser and am finding my blog to be very therapeutic. Your words on your blog are inspirational, soothing, and sadly familiar. I hate that you’ve experienced domestic violence but so glad you’re using it to inspire others. All around beautiful blog!

  38. I’ve read some of your articles, it’s relates me in many points. I’m experiencing abusive treatment since kids until teenager. Somehow I survive now, writing and photography are one of many ways to therapy and help myself until now. So yess… I’ll be back to read more of your article, and you are the 4th blog that I decide to follow! Thank’s for visiting blessmyjourney blog and greeting from me, newbie on the block :)

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