pregoandtheloon

Archive for December, 2012|Monthly archive page

An Old Playlist Recorded Each Moment

In Self Help on December 22, 2012 at 5:32 am

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You know that moment when that special song comes on the radio and your eyes light up, you turn the music up a little louder, and you enjoy as it takes you to that magical place in time. Suddenly your walking on air as countless memories flood your system. You know the lyrics by heart, and you are singing at the top of your lungs as if you were the only person in the room. If you’re driving along in your car your fingers begin tapping, and you may even start moving your head to the beat. Although if you’re out of the car you are rocking. You have a big smile, and are carelessly dancing around the room. You are happy!

Unfortunately life doesn’t always paint a pretty picture, and sometimes you are reminded of heartbreaking moments. You may want to crawl in bed and pull the covers up over your head. An endless stream of tears may run down your face, and you may choose to cry yourself to sleep that night. If you’re in the car you may choose to change the radio station. In a flash music can trigger an unwanted reaction that you may not be ready for.

When you spend X amount of time with a significant other you typically walk away from the relationship with a handful of songs that have some memory tied to them. Unfortunately even if they were happy memories at the time they may now have a sour feeling attached to them.

My Ex and I have a special song that we called “our” song. We have a song that was playing the moment he asked to marry me. We have songs that were played at our wedding, and others we use to dance to home alone in our family room. We have special playlists we made together, and one specifically for our wedding. His favorite band is glued to my memory bank… as well as a popular movie score artist. Sadly we even have a make up song, and it pulls at my heart-strings every time I quietly listen to the lyrics. Each of these songs trigger a painful story buried deep beneath the surface. We shared a life together, and a playlist that recorded each moment we spent with one another.

A few years have passed, and I am slowly moving on. Many things have helped me through this emotionally draining process. I strongly believe that you should surround yourself with positive energy to create the perfect atmosphere for healing. Exercise to release endorphins, increase energy, elevate your mood, and boost your self-confidence with a fabulous new you. I highly recommend reading in the form of self-help books. Support groups are an excellent source of free therapy and support. In addition they offer a safe place to vent your frustrations with possible needed advice. If you are not interested in pouring your heart out to a group of complete strangers I recommend seeing just one, a therapist. Maintaining balance within your life during these trying times can be very beneficial. For example: work hard, play hard! Small realistic goals can help build a positive self-image, and provide you with a sense of accomplishment. Physical contact in the form of massages and hugs are always a good thing! Finally I believe that giving back is a big bold neon sign that screams your on the road to recovery. Please keep in mind that healing is a process. It takes time and a little bit of work on your part. Although it is well worth the effort when you find the amazing new you still able to enjoy the old playlists.

Please SHARE one sentimental song good or bad that holds some form of value in your heart! Then let’s join forces, and create a new playlist with a positive twist… What song would you put on your happy inspirational playlist, and why?

Self Esteem and DV

In Domestic Violence on December 18, 2012 at 7:14 am

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Let’s talk self esteem, and the role it plays in domestic violence. Personally I believe it is one of the top 10 reasons people stay in an abusive relationship. However there has been some dispute, and I am curious how other individuals feel in regards to this topic. I highly agree with what Bennyd10 has stated here, and here alone “I do believe that in an abusive relationship the abuser belittles and demeans the victim and that can create low self esteem.” Although I also think that she fails to recoginze that prior to being in an absive relationship we (the so called victims) were individuals. We stood alone, we acted alone, and yes we even made choices on our own. Typically prior to being in an abusive relationship a vicitim already has low self esteem. The abuser rushes in and sweeps the victim off their feet showering them with love and affection. They tend to be over the top… overly charming, overly romantic, and overly caring in a very obsessive manner. For example I came home from work one day, and walked into a sea of beautifully lit tea candles. My first instinct was Oooo Ahhh WOW how incredibly romantic. I am one LUCKY girl! Although my secondary reaction consisted of racing thoughts that our house was going to catch fire and burn to the ground. I frantically ran around blowing out candles. Point being that the abuser catches us when our self esteem is already at a low, and they know exactly how to wiggle their way into our world.

If you are a victim of domestic violence… please help me wrap my head around this issue, and voice where you stand in regards to this topic!

Prego Project “Like” Support “Reblog”

In Awards on December 12, 2012 at 5:50 am

PregoProjectpresentedbypregoandtheloon

Prego Project is a voicing violence award to provide support and strength to victims of domestic violence and those affected by it. I want to recognize those willing to speak up and discuss personal stories of domestic violence accounts. In an abusive relationship there is often a lot of crazy making, and over time you tend to feel that your voice means very little to the world around you. Sadly there are two things that showered me with a bit of sunshine, and helped me regain my voice… or actually make me feel validated. I say sadly because one was receiving my restraining order against my ex-husband. The second was receiving a certificate stamped and signed by the California State Secretary recognizing my situation and accepting me into the Safe at Home program. For those of you who are not aware the Safe at Home program, is “an address confidentiality program administered by the California Secretary of State’s office that offers victims anonymity and a new start towards a brighter future free from fear. Safe at Home participants can use a free P.O. Box instead of their home address to help them maintain their privacy when receiving first-class mail, opening a bank account, completing a confidential name change, filling out government documents, registering to vote, getting a driver’s license, enrolling a child in school, and more.”

That being said… The purpose of this award is to provide positive feedback and recognition to individuals affected by domestic violence. I want people to understand that their voice matters. Domestic violence is an issue effecting individuals and our community. Every time someone chooses to speak up they are not only helping themselves, but they are also improving the lives of our community. As a community we can incorporate domestic violence education into our regular curriculum within the schooling system… If it is not already in place. We can do ongoing presentations providing awareness on the subject matter. We can ban together to enforce stricter laws in regards to this topic. For example: The victim can’t bail their abuser out of jail. Unfortunately many are guilty of this one, including myself. We could sell products, and have a portion of the proceeds benefit those affected by domestic violence. Together we can make a change for a brighter future!

You know the old saying “A photograph is worth a thousand words?” I tried to put the same thought and consideration into designing my award. I used various shades of purple to symbolize domestic violence awareness. I placed a key within the person because I believe you hold the key to your future. The heart is purposely placed within the key as a symbol of protection and value. Together these symbols create the Prego Project Award. A treasured symbol which will be handed out to strong, beautiful men and women who choose to share their stories of abuse. There is strength in numbers, a sense of support in community, and comfort in knowing that there is hope for the future… remember you hold the key!!

PREGO PROJECT RULES

1. Kindly thank the person who nominated you, and provide a link back to their blog.
2. Attach the Prego Project Award presented by Prego and the Loon to your site.
3. Provide a bit of hope and inspiration for those currently dealing with domestic violence.
4. Nominate some other bloggers whom you feel deserve this award!

MY VERY FIRST NOMINEES FOR THIS AWARD

(The top 10 listed below have discussed domestic violence in their blog)
Purposefully Scarred
Janice Romney
Spiritual Side of Domestic Violence
purplecrazymum’s Blog
Sustainably Single Parenting
Not Your Victim
Anti-Violence Advocate
Lavenderskye ~ Violence = Death
littlesparrow12′s Blog
anewfreelife

(The top 20 listed below have shared personal stories of strength and hope within my blog… A BIG thanks!!)
Paula Marie Mills
Cheko.Ripper
Cranky Giraffe
Kathy’s Blog: Healing from the Loss of a Parent
Ask Tina
Zcreed
My Window
What a Beautiful Mess
Polysyllabic Profundities
Recipehog’s Blog
maitairubysue
Josh James’ Blog
Desert Willow Lane
Wake Up and Unite
Dear Idiopathic Hirsutism: Go. To. Hell.
My Family Bliss
Wild In Virginia
alesiablogs
A Foot in Two Canoes
joeccombs2nd

Please note that I recently changed a small portion of the award. I am no longer calling it the Victims Voice Award, but rather a voicing violence award. I made these changes because many people from various walks of life wrote to me and expressed how domestic violence impacted their lives. The men and women I have choosen to be my first nominees for the Prego Project Award reached out to me in some form and touched my heart. Victims, family members, friends, doctors, nurses, policemen, prosecutors, and even an abuser wrote to me. Please keep in mind that all of your stories have somehow impacted me, and I will continue to pass out more awards. A big thank you to all my friends and followers who took the time to read my blog!! You have provided me (and my followers) with strength, support, and hope for the future by sharing your personal stories!! Everyone has something to share, and somewhere out there someone needs to hear it. Join the fight against domestic violence, and speak out on behalf of the millions who are currently silenced in the clutches of their abuser!!

Prego Project… Voicing Violence Award

In Awards on December 7, 2012 at 6:59 am

PregoProjectpresentedbypregoandtheloon

At first I was unable to tell my story of domestic violence because I was in SHOCK. I couldn’t believe what was going on around me. I was stuck in that moment of… Did that just happen to me? I was sure I was having a bad nightmare and I would awake at any moment. Then I was in DENIAL. I was in complete disbelief of everything going on around me. How could my husband, the so called man of my dreams abuse me? His angry fists of rage were life threatening and his words cut like a knife, but I was still HOPEFUL. Which is why I still did not speak up at this point. I mean imagine if I told my friends and family the horrible things I was experiencing at home, and then we patched everything up and lived happily ever after. Lastly I was AFRAID of the possible consequences that lay ahead if I spoke up. I was afraid of what he would do to me. I was afraid of what people would think. I was afraid of where I would go or what I would do. I was afraid I would have to follow through with some life changing event, and I wasn’t ready. I was afraid of my unborn child’s fatherless future, and the custody battle that would take place. I was afraid of the possible hardships. I was afraid of the UNKNOWN!

It took me quite sometime before I chose to speak up, and tell those around me what was truly going on at my household. Why I had hung new pictures on the wall, or what really happened to various objects around the house. Why I had become withdrawn, and stopped inviting loved ones over altogether. Bit by bit I was slowly repasting my life back together with each word which rolled off my tongue. I was regaining my voice, and no longer having to hide the secrets buried deep within my bleeding heart. It was beginning to feel good, and I felt a sense of freedom.

I’m not here to judge, nor am I here to encourage anyone to do anything they are not ready to do. Everyone is different, each relationship varies, and domestic violence is different across the board. What may be good for me, could possibly be detrimental for another. Only you know whats right for you!

Since I began blogging a couple months ago I have had a number of readers leave comments sharing their personal stories of struggles and strength at the hands of domestic violence. These men and women inspire me, encourage me, and provide me with strength. They bring me support, and leave me with HOPE for the future! I would like to take this time to graciously thank my friends and followers… It is comforting to know that I am not alone! Together there is STRENGTH IN NUMBERS, and we can help put an end to domestic violence!

That being said… I have created my own personal award that I will be handing out in the near future. I have titled it Prego Project, a voicing violence award presented by myself Prego and the Loon. I am trying to encourage people to speak up, and tell their story. PLEASE help provide strength and courage to those in need including myself. Your stories inspire me, and more importantly let myself and others know that we are not alone. To all those that have already shared bits and pieces of their bitter past THANK YOU from the bottom of my heart… your openness means the world to me, and it will not go overlooked!

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